AAANNNYYWWHOOO!!!! I wanted to make this blog a reflection of the changes that has went on in life over the past 3months with the move to Indy and everything and my feelings and opinion on how its going. I'll try to some everything up as short as I can make it but you know how that goes... With this blog I was kinda questioning whether I should even write it cuz being the person I am I always try to be careful of others and their feelings, and make a contentious effort to not offend and stuff like that. But after i kept pondering on it, like many other things, I said "F**K IT!" I cant help these are MY feelings and I have a right to own up to them! So I guess to help me try to keep this semi short and sweet, I'll break it into different parts. Sorry in advice if this may seem all over the place cuz this is me just typing what I feel as I go.
THE MOVE BACK TO NAP: First I want to make it clear the REAL reason I move back to Indianapolis in the first place. Being that I was moved to Dayton at the age of 8 feeling as if I didn't really have control or even know what was going on , I always kinda felt like I was deprived to be around my family especially my father like I would have loved to have been. But Im not complaining at all cuz in the end Dayton was a good move for me and I love the people that I have met and grown with. Like I always say I dont really have friends so I either consider people to be my family or just associates. But when I got older and started living on my own I notice that as far as the social side of things I felt more at home bring in Dayton but for the good of my prosperity I knew Dayton wouldn't be a good place at the time. Also my father was a big part of my decision for moving to Indy as well because all though he is in good health at the age of 70, I do realize that time to spend with him is getting limited. I wanted to make sure that I could truly be able to cherish time spent with him because of the fact that so many years of it was lost. Plus my dad is an AWESOME support system in my life especially now more than ever. It's such a blessing to know that as long as he is around I'll never have to want for anything and I'll never have to terribly struggle. Another reason for the move was because of opportunity. We all know Dayton has NADA to offer. I felt as if I had a huge barrier holding me back from even opening up my mind to see what it is I even wanted out of life cuz it feels that in the city of Dayton nothing and nobody is really working towards anything but dreams of being a d-boy/ rapper or for girls, dreams of becoming a Kim Kardashian type chick not really know for anything but just have material possessions and being linked to a d-boy. It LITERALLY felt as if there was just this dark cloud over the city and over my heart. My husband and I always had talks of moving out of Dayton to another state but at this current time Indianapolis seemed the most sensible.
THE ADJUSTMENT: The first month of being here seriously felt like a long vacation. I couldn't believe that we really acted on moving out of Dayton but it was definitely a breath of fresh air. Even when I started my job at my new Target it was just something that felt different. One thing that was a plus was the fact that they give me as many hours as I want which basically means I work full time. At first I just looked at my job as kinda of whatever, it's just what I gotta do to pay bills. But then as time progressed I notice that my team leads and managers started really taking a liking to me. I think one reason is because of the fact that I am crossed trained to do just about everything in the store, which many of my co workers are not able to do. Once I realized how much of an asset I was and the managers noticed it too, things started looking up for me. Now just a week ago I have started my training for food and guest service, which lead to a little bit of a pay increase and plus on top of that my managers have offered me 2 team lead positions! I can do nothing but praise my heavenly father for this because it not only showed me that they see something great in me but it opened my eyes to see something great in myself that I never really thought I had. Soooo, I guess its safe to say that on the job and financial side of things everything is looking way up:-)
Now, as far as social life goes... ehh?? One thing about being here in Indy it has showed that when it's all said and done.... SOCIALLY DAYTON FEELS MORE LIKE HOME! YUP I SAID IT! I admit that I really do miss the people and the vibe of feeling a little more supported. After all what do you expect? I was RAISED in Dayton. It may make some people mad or uncomfortable when I say this but, after taking a 3 day vacation in dyt a couple weekends ago I realized that those people there feel more like family to me than my own actual family. And that's not a diss to my family cuz I love them all equally just as much but this is just the reality of the situation. Honestly, the move to Indy doesn't make me feel any closer to my real family as I thought it would ( except for my dad and a few people on his side) Which speaking of my Dad's side of the fam this move was also good because its giving me a chance to connect with family on that side that I never met or even knew existed! Like one of my nieces I just met for the first time when I moved up here, although she is about 10 years older than me, the first time we talked it was as if we had been knowing each other our whole lives and we clicked on such a sisterly level. Im so blessed for that. Then my nephew who is 9 years older but so afro centric and even I can vibe with him on a mental level. Lately I have slowly but surely started to rekindle my relationship with my sister on my dad's side and her daughters and family. Then on top of that the beauty of it all is the fact that even though my husband has never really had a chance to connect with my family because of us being from Dayton, and for him to get along so well with my fam on my father side and some from mom's side as well that just really makes me happy. Especially since there was always a feeling of uncertainty of feelings or approval from some of the family because of certain situations that I wont get into but many know what it is;-) Another plus to this move is that I have did a lot of soul searching. I have been so much more open to exploring hobbies and interests and things that I enjoy doing. I have always been a lover of creative arts. Writing, music, drawing, all that good stuff that expresses creative freedom. This blog is a perfect example. This is something that since I've been here I have really grown to love. I even have gotten a bit into drawing and I NEVER knew I could even draw as well as a can. Then just a few months ago I made a bold decision to go natural with my hair. Yup, no more creamy crack for me for a long while.( next blog is my reasoning for going natural)
IN CONCLUSION: So over all with everything going well, the job, reconnection with family, and the self exploration and expression, it's definitely safe to say that this move was probably what I needed for my own personal growth. I can honestly say that if I was in Dayton there would be no job promotions, no blogging, and no being more open to exploring the things I love because for me there was no MOTIVATION to do so. Here with it being such a big city and with it seeming like everybody is out tryna work hard at whatever is they want, its kinda hard not to find motivation in that and move with the crowd. Before I was always so quick to say "I cant' do these" but this move was what I needed to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to. With motivation and dedication it feels great to know that this move and all my hard work isn't going in vain. Now as far as the social part of things, this move has made me realize that my heart will always be in Dayton. I realized that I love my peoples in Dayton and the saying, " you dont know what you got until it's gone," is so true. But I have faith that eventually I will have that feeling of a strong support system here in Indy as well. Just like everything else that will take work and openness. So I just ask that you all keep me in your prayers and as always I will be doing the same for you. Till next time. God Bless;-)
I like this girl. I wasn't sure why you guys had moved there but it all makes sense. good luck in your future endeavors girl. you deserve every bit of happiness it brings.
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