3 Month Reflection

   Random sidebar: I just realize that every time before Im bout to do a blog I vibe out for a good hour to some good music. Lol! I guess it's a ritual to get my mind right. Right now Im listening to JoJo's new mixtape which I didn't know how fire it really was. Before this I was listening to Solange with "Valentine's Day" on repeat.

   AAANNNYYWWHOOO!!!! I wanted to make this blog a reflection of the changes that has went on in life over the past 3months with the move to Indy and everything and my feelings and opinion on how its going. I'll try to some everything up as short as I can make it but you know how that goes... With this blog I was kinda questioning whether I should even write it cuz being the person I am I always try to be careful of others and their feelings, and make a contentious effort to not offend and stuff like that. But after i kept pondering on it, like many other things, I said "F**K IT!" I cant help these are MY feelings and I have a right to own up to them! So I guess to help me try to keep this semi short and sweet, I'll break it into different parts. Sorry in advice if this may seem all over the place cuz this is me just typing what I feel as I go.

    THE MOVE BACK TO NAP: First I want to make it clear the REAL reason I move back to Indianapolis in the first place. Being that I was moved to Dayton at the age of 8 feeling as if I didn't really have control or even know what was going on , I always kinda felt like I was deprived to be around my family especially my father like I would have loved to have been. But Im not complaining at all cuz in the end Dayton was a good move for me and I love the people that I have met and grown with. Like I always say I dont really have friends so I either consider people to be my family or just associates. But when I got older and started living on my own I notice that as far as the social side of things I felt more at home bring in Dayton but for the good of my prosperity I knew Dayton wouldn't be a good place at the time. Also my father was a big part of my decision for moving to Indy as well because all though he is in good health at the age of 70, I do realize that time to spend with him is getting limited. I wanted to make sure that I could truly be able to cherish time spent with him because of the fact that so many years of it was lost. Plus my dad is an AWESOME support system in my life especially now more than ever. It's such a blessing to know that as long as he is around I'll never have to want for anything and I'll never have to terribly struggle. Another reason for the move was because of opportunity. We all know Dayton has NADA to offer. I felt as if I had a huge barrier holding me back from even opening up my mind to see what it is I even wanted out of life cuz it feels that in the city of Dayton nothing and nobody is really working towards anything but dreams of being a d-boy/ rapper or for girls, dreams of becoming a Kim Kardashian type chick not really know for anything but just have material possessions and being linked to a d-boy. It LITERALLY felt as if there was just this dark cloud over the city and over my heart. My husband and I always had talks of moving out of Dayton to another state but at this current time Indianapolis seemed the most sensible.

   THE ADJUSTMENT: The first month of being here seriously felt like a long vacation. I couldn't believe that we really acted on moving out of Dayton but it was definitely a breath of fresh air. Even when I started my job at my new Target it was just something that felt different. One thing that was a plus was the fact that they give me as many hours as I want which basically means I work full time. At first I just looked at my job as kinda of whatever, it's just what I gotta do to pay bills. But then as time progressed I notice that my team leads and managers started really taking a liking to me. I think one reason is because of the fact that I am crossed trained to do just about everything in the store, which many of my co workers are not able to do. Once I realized how much of an asset I was and the managers noticed it too, things started looking up for me. Now just a week ago I have started my training for food and guest service, which lead to a little bit of a pay increase and plus on top of that my managers have offered me 2 team lead positions! I can do nothing but praise my heavenly father for this because it not only showed me that they see something great in me but it opened my eyes to see something great in myself that I never really thought I had. Soooo, I guess its safe to say that on the job and financial side of things everything is looking way up:-)

    Now, as far as social life goes... ehh?? One thing about being here in Indy it has showed that when it's all said and done.... SOCIALLY DAYTON FEELS MORE LIKE HOME! YUP I SAID IT! I admit that I really do miss the people and the vibe of feeling a little more supported. After all what do you expect? I was RAISED in Dayton. It may make some people mad or uncomfortable when I say this but, after taking a 3 day vacation in dyt a couple weekends ago I realized that those people there feel more like family to me than my own actual family. And that's not a diss to my family cuz I love them all equally just as much but this is just the reality of the situation. Honestly, the move to Indy doesn't make me feel any closer to my real family as I thought it would ( except for my dad and a few people on his side) Which speaking of my Dad's side of the fam this move was also good because its giving me a chance to connect with family on that side that I never met or even knew existed! Like one of my nieces I just met for the first time when I moved up here, although she is about 10 years older than me, the first time we talked it was as if we had been knowing each other our whole lives and we clicked on such a sisterly level. Im so blessed for that. Then my nephew who is 9 years older but so afro centric and even I can vibe with him on a mental level. Lately I have slowly but surely started to rekindle my relationship with my sister on my dad's side and her daughters and family. Then on top of that the beauty of it all is the fact that even though my husband has never really had a chance to connect with my family because of us being from Dayton, and for him to get along so well with my fam on my father side and some from mom's side as well that just really makes me happy. Especially since there was always a feeling of uncertainty of feelings or approval from some of the family because of certain situations that I wont get into but many know what it is;-) Another plus to this move is that I have did a lot of soul searching. I have been so much more open to exploring hobbies and interests and things that I enjoy doing. I have always been a lover of creative arts. Writing, music, drawing, all that good stuff that expresses creative freedom. This blog is a perfect example. This is something that since I've been here I have really grown to love. I even have gotten a bit into drawing and I NEVER knew I could even draw as well as a can. Then just a few months ago I made a bold decision to go natural with my hair. Yup, no more creamy crack for me for a long while.( next blog is my reasoning for going natural)

   IN CONCLUSION: So over all with everything going well, the job, reconnection with family, and the self exploration and expression, it's definitely safe to say that this move was probably what I needed for my own personal growth. I can honestly say that if I was in Dayton there would be no job promotions, no blogging, and no being more open to exploring the things I love because for me there was no MOTIVATION to do so. Here with it being such a big city and with it seeming like everybody is out tryna work hard at whatever is they want, its kinda hard not to find motivation in that and move with the crowd. Before I was always so quick to say "I cant' do these" but this move was what I needed to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to. With motivation and dedication it feels great to know that this move and all my hard work isn't going in vain. Now as far as the social part of things, this move has made me realize that my heart will always be in Dayton. I realized that I love my peoples in Dayton and the saying, " you dont know what you got until it's gone," is so true. But I have faith that eventually I will have that feeling of a strong support system here in Indy as well. Just like everything else that will take work and openness. So I just ask that you all keep me in your prayers and as always I will be doing the same for you. Till next time. God Bless;-)

} Loving my J's (Jordans & Jackson){

I've been wanting a sweet MJ shirt for some time now, especially for my threes cuz I figured it would be a hot look so I finally broke down and bought one. Can't wait to break this fit out<3

Relationship 101!

    


  Its seems like now a days EVERYONE wants to know the secret "formula" to a successful relationship. Some people have had sooo many bad experiences with previous relationships that they let it effect the next one or just throw in the towel all together, which in my opinion is never the answer. Every person is different and shouldn't be canceled out before they even get a fair trial, right? As a blessed individual, I thank my heavenly father for blessing me with the opportunity to have found my soul mate at an early stage in life. We met in high school and started dating the end of my freshman year (his junior year). With only one breakup that only lasted a summer, many trails & tribulations, we were able to prevail over all and last December we took that leap of faith in God and each other and tied the knot after 6 years. Its crazy cuz many people always seen us as a blueprint of what they want their relationship to be like, which quite frankly is very honoring & a humbling thought. Girls young and old come to me( a lot of times some are way better established than I) and always ask me advice on how to handle their  relationships or how to get a man period. Now one thing I NEVER claim or try to come off as is an "expert" at this whole love thing cuz at the end of the day I just knew what worked for me and mines. But as I look at statistics that show how the divorce rate is going up and see many girls that are single but going through the drama of a relationship or just a broken, unhealthy relationship in general it really worries me. One reason is cuz, I dont care how independent or well established a female is, when it's all said and done those things mean nothin if she can't have a man to share it with. AND FELLAS, IF A CHICK TELLS YOU OTHERWISE SHE IS STUNTING! There is probably nothing a girl wants more than to have as close to that fairy tale ending as possible... So how do you find your prince charming? Once you have him how do keep him? Well, as I said before I'm no expert but I do try and help out my sistas as much as possible. These are things that worked for my relationship of almost 7years (next May) so take what you want, apply it, and I ain't Drake but you can thank me later;-) Lol! 

How do I find my prince charming?

 The first rule that I would hope every lady should know is NEVER GO LOOKING FOR LOVE. 9 times out of 10 when your trying to find love you will start getting so desperate that you'll find yourself settling for whatever you can get. There is nothing a girl hates more than a thirsty nigga so please, please dont be a thirsty hoe! Like the old saying goes, " WHY BUY THE MILK WHEN HE CAN GET THE COW FOR FREE" With that being said though on the other hand, stop setting these standards that are so ridiculously high. First of all nobody's perfect, HELL, your not even perfect. In a relationship you have to take the good with the bad with anybody. It's not always about all the qualities a person has, part of it is knowing and excepting that person for there flaws that can be the beauty of it. Then one of my most biggest suggestions to any and everybody is.... TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW THE PERSON BEFORE MAKING IT OFFICIAL. BUILD A FRIENDSHIP FIRST! {FRIENDSHIP= STRONG FOUNDATION} I say the stronger the friendship is the healthier the relationship will be. There are too many people that are quick to just jump into a relationship not fully knowing the person they are getting involved with. You even got some that are giving up the goodies on first and second encounters then starting relationships, then in only a few months going through heavier issues that even married folk dont even go through. If they only woulda took it slow in the beginning and really got to know each other in the first place those issues wouldn't have came up. Yes arguing can be healthy to a certain extent but every week, everyday, every couple hours??? Sorry but not okay!.... In my situation I can honestly say that on my behalf it was not love at first site. LOL! But it was love at first conversation. My husband, Jerelle, didn't really have a reputation for being the most nicest guy of the bunch but once I got to finally talk to him and take the time to know him on that personal level, I learned that he was NOTHING like how he perceived to the outsiders. Thats what immediately caught me. But before we really made is official we had such a strong bond and friendship that could have only been God's doing. He was my bestfriend! And what I loved about it is that we kept what was going on with between us only! There were a few times we would come to school dressed alike, same jersey or same color way, and noooobody caught on to us being an item. (corny right? well we though it was cute and fun:-) It wasnt until about a good 4 or 5 months that people started to find out. But that's what worked for us and thats what kept us healthy and protected in the beginning stages.

How do I keep my prince charming?

  So now your deep into the relationship (maybe a good year or so) and past the honeymoon stage. This is the point that the real issues can start to pop up. One of the biggest issues is trust. IF THERE IS NO TRUST, THERE IS NO REAL RELATIONSHIP PERIOD POINT BLANK! Sorry folks but this is as simple as black and white. We all know that once trust is broken it is hard to gain it back. We are all human so in a lot of cases your partner may have done something at one point that has broken trust, whether it's cheated, lied about something, sent inappropriate messages to another person, etc. So the next step is getting over that hump. For some people the trust issue can be so big that they never can make it. But if you are deciding to stay and work it out know that building that trust back isn't going to come over night. Also though it is important to understand that if you say you forgive that person then do just that and move on. One reason people can never make it over that hump is because they still hold on to the past. LET IT GO AND MOVE FORTH IN REBUILDING. Another big factor is communication. Knowing and understanding your partners insight on things is so very important. You need to be comfortable with expressing your feelings, needs, wants, all that good stuff in a relationship in order to strengthen that trust and a strong bond. One thing I've always been super big on is making sure to keep that line of communication open as possible with my partner and not really get too comfortable with involving others. I really feel and stress that privacy is key in a relationship. If you start letting everybody in on whats going on between you and yours (especially if its negative) then people will start to feel like its their business to know everything and then eeerrrverybody will have an opinion on what your doing. A relationship/ marriage is between two people only! It's okay if you may not agree on something. Part of keeping it healthy is being respectful and having a respect for your partners opinion. It's okay to agree to disagree and arguments shouldn't be about who is gonna win. A person has a right to feel how they want. Which brings me to my last point, NEVER TRY AND CHANGE A PERSON. One thing people should realize is that if someone shows you who they are, you need to believe what they are showing you. This especially is implied to females who try and stay with men who constantly keep doing wrong and they just stay with them hoping that maybe just maybe one day it'll all change. The only way a person changes is because THEY wanted to change. And honestly when it comes to a lot of men it usually takes that one big event before they change... OH YEA! And I can not end without saying this... TRYING TO TRAP A PERSON IS NOT HOW YOU GUARANTEE A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP! Now a days it's so many women (and some men) purposely having babies or pressuring marriage on their partners thinking that thats gonna solve any and all issues and put a guarantee on the relationship. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!! Always remember that the relationship is only going to get as good as whatever the highest point was while dating. The more responsibility the harder your gonna have to work. Especially when your talking on bring another individual  into this world, it's not fair to that child or the parent if the "trapping" method doesn't work and now that's one more broken home and relationship.

Well fam! I hope that some of my advice will be of help to you all in your quest for a healthy love. At the end of everything I do believe that everyone deserves to be loved and deserves to experience having that one person to share everything life comes with, the good and the bad. My last post on my favorite quotes by MJ explains it all! Well until next time folks. Be sure to hit me up on here or my facebook or tweet me what you think or if there are any questions you may have:-) God Bless! 


 THE ONE MOST SINGLE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS WITH NO GOD, THERE IS NO LOVE! SEEK HIM FIRST AND ONCE YOU HAVE HIM KEEP IN ALL YOU DO ESPECIALLY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

My loving hubby lumpkins;-)

They say opposites attract. Its so obvious we are different! LOL!







 

       This is one of my MOST FAVORITE quotes in life! Not just because it's MJ but because it really touches on the subject of LOVE;-) RIP MICHAEL JACKSON, KING OF POP CULTURE. 

NO JUDGEMENT ZONE!

  So being sum 1 who spends a lot of time on  gossip sites and watching reality shows of celebs, I cant help but to notice that sex industry has been making a really big buzz lately. Even with the modeling industry, more and more over the top sexual images are becoming way more excepted. At first the thought of it used to really bother me because when it comes to anything sexual I believe that it's something that should be kept sacred between you and your partner. As a woman I take great pride in the fact that my significant other is THE ONLY PERSON ON THIS EARTH THAT HAS A CONNECTION WITH  ME ON A SEXUAL LEVEL. And as a man I know that's something that he treasures as well. It's like that look and smirk that a dude gives another guy that may be staring at his girl like, " Yeeeaa nigga, thats all me right there and NO body elses". I will even admit that I myself would look down on people that where too sexually explicit or "out there" when it came to sex. Then you have all this coverage lately on Montana Fishburne, the daughter of Laurence Fishburne, and how she has made the decision to be in the porn industry. Now my personal opinion of her decision is split about 30/70... 30% of me feels bad for her just because of the fact that she is carrying on a very prestigious name. None of us really know what her home situation is but I would like to think that her dad paved a way for her in which she didn't have to go this route. But then it's that 70% of me that says " F**k It!! She's grown and old enough to know what she is doing!" At the end of the day somebody has to do it. It just sort of sucks when you may know that person or know that they could have so much potential in something a little more dignifying. I remember when I first found out that one of my classmates was in the porn industry. I just had that thought that if that's what she wants to do then so be it but it is a bit unfortunate knowing she didnt have to take that path to become successful. Then again that just goes to show that you never know a person or their situation so for us to judge anyone isn't right. But then I happened to watch an interview with Montana that opened my mind a little bit more & even changed my view on judging these overly sexual beings. She made the comment that she doesn't understand why people are coming down on her and judging when these are the same people that will watch porn.... It was at that moment when I realized A) she wasn't as dumb as a thought and B) she just made the best point that doesn't just apply to sex and porn but to ANYTHING IN LIFE!
         HOW DARE WE BE SO JUDGMENTAL ABOUT WHAT SOMEONE ELSE IS DOING AS IF WE ARE LIVING OUR LIFE PERFECT.

  At the end of the day you can only be responsible for your actions and what might be one's interest doesn't have to be yours! Montana Fishburne's choice to be in the sex industry was her own choice because that's what she feels she is good at. Regardless of the moral stand point. Now i'm not saying that I personally would show my temple to millions of people & have sex with multiple people on or off a camera cuz i wouldnt. But when it's all said and done TO EACH IT'S OWN. If anything I honestly can say I respect a porn star, stripper, video vixen, etc. a little bit more than just a regular person who wants to hoe around for free! (Lol) We should no longer look down on people that choose a different path then what the next person might have taken. So next time you catch yourself talking about who slept with who and how many times, or who is doing what and how... take a look in the mirror.


    INTERESTING FACT: You wanna know something you may not have even thought or be surprised about??? I respect and will even admit to being a fan of the works of Pinky & Maliah Michel just to name a few:-)

HELLO WORLD!

  Whats up blog world! This is my first blog EVER so I wanted to break this thing in by rightfully introducing myself & letting people read & understand who the real CeCe is. I'm actually quite excited about this for whatever reason. maybe its cuz lately all the things that I've had a desire to do I have just been going for it. Hell! even w/ this blog I just woke up this morning and said, " I think i wanna start blogging." Then what do you know, a few hours later I'm setting up my account. I know that now my page is a little bit boring and may lack a bit of personality compared to some but I'm learning so it'll all get better with time, Leona Lewis style:-)... But anyway, I wanted my first post to be an insight on me, my personality, and my mindset because at the end off the day I know that there are many that dont know or understand the real me. Part of that is because I have allowed it to be that way. But there is always a reasoning behind the way I think or feel about life, family, friends, society, etc. I just hope that through my blogs, people will have an understanding heart. So without farther ado, I would like to introduce CORRIE SMITH:

  Im just a soul who's intentions are good. OH LORD! PLEASE? Dont let me be misunderstood... Cliche` right? LOL!!! On a serious note though, I am Corrie Carme Smith. I am a loving wife who is on a journey to find my place in this world. I have enough passion for the things and people I love to fill up this world three times. Some see that as a flaw but hey this is just who I am. Just like many other people, I've dealt with some harsh trials and tribulations, but not like some people, I dont let those situations define who I am or have I ever let those situations be the reason I chose to do bad in life. I always thank my HEAVENLY FATHER for keeping me close and keeping certain people in my life so that I never had to choose to go down a negative path. At first when I was younger maybe around the age of 15 or 16, I honestly thought that I had my life planned out but now at the age of 21 looking back I realized that I only had my life planned out according to what OTHERS said was right. It wasnt until a big confrontation with family, a very very brief time in college, and time living out on my own, did I realize that I hadn't been 100% real with myself and some of the people around me. So, what is the real me? The real me is living free spirited  w/o anyones rules or opinion to say what i am doing is right or wrong.  The real me is finding the TRUTH out about people and this world before I dive into doing something just because thats what "society" says is right. I think what people may not know or understand about me at times is that I'm not your average traditional person. And like I said before there is a reason behind this (thats a whole nother blog by itself).Another thing is people and the titles they hold in my life... When it comes down to it I dont hold ANYBODY to a different standard whether it be family, friend, or stranger on the street. To a lot of people that may sound cold hearted but the way I see it and experienced  it, the reality of it is that you can have friends or family that can treat you just as dirty (if not worst) than a stranger on the street. I refuse to have unneccessary drama, catty-ness, or snakes in my life,i dont care if its friend, family, or stranger or the street. This also brings me to my new motto "No Gray Area"... I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE GRAY AREA PEOPLE. That are people that are in your face telling you one thing but then running to other people ( or your enemy) saying another. Or basically people that play both sides of the fence.To be completely honest at times I wish I could go to another country, not tell anybody but a few people where I am and wat my intentions are and just live and learn the way I want to. Most of my life i was always extroverted, had many friends, outgoing, always known as the silly, goofy one to look to if you wanted to have fun and although I was always surrounded with people I still felt as if I was lonely, or even in many cases preferred to be left alone. Still to this day that is something that I dont even i understand about myself, but I guess thats part of the learning process about myself I still have yet to conquer. 

  Anyway I didn't intend for this first blog to be too long. I think I gave a good enough insight on me. Just look forward to this blog to be my thoughts & opinions on everyday life, the world, and even entertainment. Cuz that is one thing I will say I take a passionate liking to (music, celebs, etc.) So thanking you for choosing to hop on this interesting ride to share myself with the world... And you never know you may get a chance to see me in some very rare forms. XOXOXO~